


Hindsight

by RebelMage



Category: Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-29
Updated: 2012-08-29
Packaged: 2017-11-13 03:42:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/499078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelMage/pseuds/RebelMage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Glinda regrets so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hindsight

Glinda regrets so much. Every day she wonders what she could have done, what could have been. In hindsight, she can clearly see her mistakes, but it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s all over. She’s never been the smartest, but she’d never believed she could be so _stupid_.

When people see her, she looks like the happiest person alive. She has more than anyone could ever wish for, and yet she lacks the one thing that she needs. It’s the only thing she can never have.

Love.

It’s not what people would think; it’s not that she misses Fiyero. True, at the time she thought she loved him, but now she realises that he was just a trophy, another pretty thing to add to her collection. Maybe she was merely trying to distract herself from her true feelings. Truth is, the one she loves is Elphaba.

At first, she hated her. That’s why she never thought she could _love_ her, but the opposite of love is not hate; it’s indifference. She’s never known how similar those two are, and how easily one can change into the other. It’s a shame she only realises it now, when it’s too late.

In her dreams, she can escape from that harsh reality. She can do all the things she secretly wished to do when she was younger, when she had the chance to.

Instead of letting Elphaba run away that night after they went to the Ozdust Ballroom, she runs after her. Sometimes, she kisses her, but her dreams are hardly ever of a concupiscent nature.

Sometimes, she dreams of what happened after their “daring” meeting with the Wizard. She dreams of agreeing, of running away with Elphaba. Perhaps she doesn’t agree with everything Elphaba does, but she now knows better than to lose love because of one small disagreement.

The day in the cornfield is another thing she wishes to have gone differently. She hadn’t felt jealous, well, at least not jealous of Elphaba. Fiyero was just a game between them, but maybe Elphaba didn’t feel that way. After all, nobody had ever truly loved her before – as far as she knew, of course. The part that pains Glinda is that she doesn’t know how Elphaba truly felt.

Glinda’s also done some stupid things she doesn’t regret, though. Her mistake that led to the two of them sharing a room, for one. If they had never shared a room, their relationship would never have blossomed, for better or for worse. Another thing she doesn’t regret is the time she gave Elphaba that hat. Perhaps things could have gone a little differently, but that was definitely the beginning of their friendship, how twisted it might seem.

If only Glinda’d told Elphaba her true feelings before. However, what if Elphaba doesn’t – didn’t – return those feelings? Perhaps the mystery is better.

If only Elphaba hadn’t died. Yes, that’s the true regret. Glinda should have done something. She should have done something, anything.

Glinda regrets so much, yes, but she doesn’t regret loving Elphaba.


End file.
